A new year + making peace with my size 16 body

you-always-had-the-power-free-printable

 

I know I am not the only one who has struggled with their weight.

That it’s not just about what size we are, but what we see when we look in the mirror.  Who looks back at us and do we approve or make a list of everything that needs to change.

Living in a society where youth and the media’s opinion of beauty are prized, sometimes it’s really hard to feel like you can even throw your hat in the ring at a size 16.

But this is where I have landed.  I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds.  Been so thin my doctor and friends were concerned, and been carrying enough weight that a flight of stairs kicked my ass.

Finding out I was dancing with Type 2 Diabetes a few years ago, and having suddenly lost my Mom to Diabetic complications three years ago has weighed heavy on my heart. 

Myself and my body have found a happy place with a balanced diet, no weight gain, and the energy that I need to keep up with the demands of working full time, my family and home and trying to find a little creative time too.

I am a size 16, I wear a 1x sometimes a 2x depending on the brand and I am happy.  I have waited so long to even say it out loud.  I was afraid I was giving up or back on the road to another rapid weight gain, but after spending a couple years healing from an abusive relationship and learning how to love myself again, something new was born. [Read more…]

hello 2016 + my fave things from 2015

hello 2016.

The past year has in many ways gone by so incredibly fast.  

My kids are taller, we’re all a year older.

I closed a painful chapter in my life and walked into a healthy, new life that I love.

I met a wonderful man & a best friend that would change my life forever.

I had zero time to blog, but I have a job I love, and I am trying to eek out time to begin blogging again because I feel like part of me is missing when I don’t write.

I think the part of the year that I love the most, is looking back and seeing God work things out.

In the quiet times when we have no idea how an impossible situation will be resolved.

In noisy times where we just need five minutes to ourselves so we don’t feel crazy.

In the painful moments where it doesn’t feel like hurt could ever be healed.

He has shown up and handled it.  Handled it when I could not, and gone before me not to pave a perfect straight road, but to remind me that He’s got this and I am His daughter.

And I have learned that I can survive those tough times that are no fun, and really appreciate the seasons of quiet.  That is new for me because I fee like I’ve always been in a hurry to get to the next thing.

 

I used to make a New Year’s Resolution each year, or choose a word.  

I have decided to put zero pressure on myself and just enjoy having another year, more time and living a peaceful (yet crazy/loud/busy) life with my family.

Here are a few things I loved working on this year, and I hope this finds you blessed, at peace, and seeing the good.  Because it is everywhere and wants us to find it.

No matter what.

So here we go, a new year, and some of my favorite stuff from last year….

 

All You Need Is Love Free Printable twelveOeightblog.com #loveprintable #allyouneedislove #freeprintable #valentine #twelveOeightblog

love is all you need free printable 

[Read more…]

Choosing a bunch of happy today


 

If we ask our children and loved ones what they really want in life, they would probably
tell us that they want to be happy.

I have thought a lot about happiness and life so much since my Mom passed away
in early April.  After the initial shock wore off I have to admit, I felt cheated out of
having her in my life and seeing her grand-kids and great grand-kids grow up.

It hurt every time someone mentioned their Mom, because it just reminded me
of loss and pain.

My Mom and I didn’t have a perfect relationship, but we learned how to just let the
other be who she is and stop trying to change each other.  After realizing that we had
really done a good job of this, I stopped to look at all of the relationships and circustances
in my life.  The greatest amount of peace I have had has come after letting go of
false expectations I had in the first place.  The root of this seemed to be comparison.

If I just (fill in the blank) then I will be happy.

[Read more…]